FC Mom Identity Crisis

I am having a major problem in my blog life.
I AM NOT SURE I AM FC MOM.

I am an FC Mom, but that is not only who I am, so I'm struggling with what to post here. Anything local to my city I post on Stamford Talk. That 's where I talk about movie stars I see, funny local encounters, and local issues. I love that blog. I will never give it up as long as I live in Stamford. I AM Stamford Talk, I know that, even if I'm more occupied with my baby than exploring my city, I will ALWAYS want to write about and explore where I live and who I live near. That's set.

But, me as a person, and my thoughts about parenting and teaching and subjects like Lady Gaga and Montessori and the other million things I like- I'm just not sure where that should go. I can't post about Lost on FC Mom. That's not my mom life. Thats my me life. I know they are the same, but I need ONE BLOG NAME that can capture that. FC Mom is not it.

Crap.
What do I do?

Do I go back to Fancy Pancakes, my pre-baby personal blog? I don't make as many Fancy Pancakes because I'm not around my pancake-loving niece and nephews as much. I don't feel like Fancy Pancakes any more, although that was a fabulous time on my life where I got to focus on my nephews, and then my husband, and then my niece.

Any blog I do is going to have a lot of parenting stuff, I don't doubt that- but- OK actually I DO have another blog name ready, and I already got it on blogger, but I'm waiting to make sure I really want to do it. It's funny. It's good. I'm just making sure it's the RIGHT name for me. I'm not sure it is. It's close. But I'm not sure it's perfect. I'm going to go think about it.

With a margarita. Click here to read more.

Beaba Products for Baby Self-Feeding

As baby is wanting to feed himself more, I'm loving these Beaba spoons I got at Giggle. They're the perfect length and width. The handle is wide for baby to hold. The spoon is big enough for baby to get a decent amount of food on it. The handle is short enough that baby can easily aim the spoon to his mouth before all the food falls off.

Plus, the colors are ADORABLE!!!!

You may have heard of the Beaba brand because of its popular steamer/food processor in one for homemade baby food. I never got much into that, but Beaba certainly is impressing me with its baby feeding accessories.

The spoons come in a spoon and fork set, but we have really only used the spoons so far. The short spoons are much better than the longer Beaba spoons that come in a set of four spoons- the long spoons are fine for parent-feeding, but for self-feeding they are just too long and thin for baby to use effectively. Giggle rocks it as usual!

I also recently bought some Beaba cups. I wanted plastic cups for baby to learn how to drink from a cup, since he always chomps on my glass cups that I share with him. I didn't want cheap "Cars" plastic cups. I didn't want lidded cups. I didn't want cups with a thick lip. I just wanted a damn plastic cup made of material the baby couldn't chew through... enter these frigging adorable cups from Beaba that I found at in the awesome baby section at Bed Bath. (I can't find it on the Bed Bath online site, but Babies R Us carries it.)

The cup is lightweight enough so baby can hold. It's SMALL enough that he can easily get his mouth around it the edge. It's small and shallow enough that it only holds a small amount of water, so when baby dumps it all over himself, as he inevitably does, he's not completely drenched. Before he drenches himself, he's able to drink from a cup on his own.

Love it! Click here to read more.

Nice Comments Keep a Busy Mom Going

Someone said something really nice about my teaching yesterday, and it gave me a needed boost.

She sees me teach on a regular basis- daily- and she said I was a really great teacher, that I knew a lot about English, and that she felt that she had learned a lot from me. Yesterday was a rushed, tiring day, and I needed to hear that in the middle of my day.

Teachers really need this feedback from other adults, because you just don't get that kind of recognition from tweens. (You get other good stuff from them- their humor, their affection, their kindness, their intelligence, and it's awesome- but recognition as a professional, not explicitly.)

As I am teaching, I am usually thinking the other adults in the room (special education teacher, aides, maybe a speech pathologist doing a once weekly visit) are thinking, "Wow she is so boring! Why can't she find her overheads? Is she talking about topic sentences again?!?" It's intimidating that people might see you at your worst (some days are TOUGH to be patient), but to know that overall people think you're great is reassuring.

I bet we all need that, no matter if it's our job, our marriage, our parenting... right?

Another mom last week gave me very positive feedback about my writing instruction, and to have her notice the work I'm doing with her child means a lot, because writing, and teaching it, and getting my students to a) enjoy it and b) improve is a major priority for me.

Off to work, and another rushed day of dropping off AND picking up the kid, since the husband now commutes into NYC for at least the first half of each week. Sigh. Click here to read more.

Loft Nursery: Pretty But Unsafe. DUH.

It really is funny when the baby design/decor blog Ohdeedoh by Apartment Therapy features TOTALLY UNSAFE NURSERIES. Previously I posted about a nursery with a step ladder up to a window and too widely-spaced crib bars. Today Ohdeedoh has a nursery in a LOFT... with OPEN railings.


And the crib and changing table are right against the railings! Reader comments are appropriately along the lines of, "Are you FREAKING SERIOUS?"

See the whole post to view reader comments and see the "before" photo of the loft when it was an office. Click here to read more.

Photos of Babywearing Dads

This site of photos of babywearing dads is rather endearing. A couple ladies I follow on Twitter created it! Click here to read more.

Pop Goes the Weasel Gets Philosophical

I just noticed these lyrics to "Pop Goes the Weasel:"

You may try to sew and sew
And never make anything regal
So roll it up and let it go
Pop -- goes the weasel!

I love it. It's another way of saying, "Take it easy on yourself!" which is one of my life philosophies.

Lest ye think I am a total slacker, there are areas in which I'm highly driven: mainly my writing, which is why, after I took a summer writing course, my husband (then-boyfriend) said, "Do you promise never to take another class again?" because I was so obsessive about my researching, writing, and revising. I'd stay up til 1am, completely immersed in it, then get up at 6am to ger ready to drive to Fairfield. I loved every second of that physically and emotionally tiring class.

Teaching, I work hard at, but it's an art in which going for perfection is a BAD idea since it involves the precious little souls of kids. For that, I say, Set extremely high standards, give them tons of attention and feedback, then roll it up and let it go. Same for parenting: Give it your all, then roll it up and let it go. You cannot control another person. You can just give them your best.

Caption: my friends sewing and knitting while I organize my iPhoto on our Woodstock Crafting Weekend, Winter 2007. Did I care that I can't craft? Nope, I rolled it up and let it go and did not compare myself to other (craftier) people. Note: my hair is NOT this long any more.



I absolutely adore music- always have. I used to sing in a 100+ person chorus until voice problems forced me to stop (and to take a year off of teaching, but that's another story). The people in this chorus were so good that I was pretty much the worst person even though I'm decent. Anyway, I'm happy the kid is at an age where I can tell he enjoys music, so I've created a "Q mix" for him on the iPod with all of the good songs from the CDs I downloaded from my sister a couple of years ago- the sister with three kids- so I have loads of great music to play for him- and me-, including several version of "Pop Goes the Weasel."

You can try to sew and sew...

Take it easy on yourself. That's the advice I gave today to a colleague who's returning from her maternity leave and is going to pump at work... set the standard you want for youself, and then take it easy on yourself. Hard-working people often don't enjoy themselves like they should, because while it's great to set high standards, you also have to enjoy life, and sometimes that means doing a little less amazing job than you'd like. Now that I have limited time for my writing, I've had to force myself to set lower standards. It's hard, but I'd never publish a darn thing unless I gave myself permission to just do a good enough job. Click here to read more.

Words for the Worst Situation

In the early days with your baby, you worry about SIDS.
When they start to approach a year, you think you're safe.

Well, two weeks ago, one of the kids my baby attended daycare with passed away in his sleep at home. He was just 3 days older than my baby and had just turned one. It was shocking news. I'm not really sure of the cause of death, but he was not ill. I shed many tears for that little boy's parents and for the unfairness of life that takes away something so precious. I didn't blog about it earlier because I didn't feel I had anything adequate to say.

Today I just want to point out a website that tells you what NOT to say to someone who has lost a child. The post is called “When a friend’s child dies. Part 2: What not to say.” It’s written by Kristine McCormick, who lost her days old daughter, Cora, to undiagnosed congenital heart disease.

I like that Kristine tells you not just what NOT to say, but what you can say INSTEAD. I know I was really nervous about what to say to the baby’s parents at the wake, but I wanted to go so they knew that I was thinking about them and that I’d miss their son. In the end I kept it simple, saying how sorry I was and that I was thinking of them every day, and would continue to think of them every day. It was certainly the truth.

Kristine’s site, Cora's Story, is a good resource. If you find yourself in the same situation as me, maybe you can use it to get ready to talk to the parent who has lost a child. I know I felt like I had NOTHING valuable to say, so I tried to think ahead of time what I'd say. This site would have been helpful because it lists more sensitive things to say to grieving parents.

You can also check out another post by Kristine, “When a friend's child dies. Part 1: How can I help? What to do when your friend’s baby or child dies.” What an awful thing to think about, but as I recently was reminded, these horrible things DO happen to people we know..

I appreciate that Kristine has a whole site set up for Cora's memory, for raising awareness of congenital heart disease, and for helping other people. Click here to read more.